Can I PLEASE Adopt This Kid?! (The Baby Bookworm Edition)

Books - bookcase top shelf

(Photo credit: ~ Phil Moore)

There’s been times where I’ve met kids and thought, “Can I adopt this child? No, seriously?”

Today I saw one of those kids at a book store and listened in on what was probably the most glorious conversation ever.

It consisted between a little girl and her mother. It went like this:

Daughter: Mom! Mom! Mom! Books! BOOKS! Can I get a book?

Mom: You already have books.

Daughter: Yeah, I know I already have 4 books in the car, but I swear I’ll read those! PLEASE CAN I GET A NEW BOOK PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

I just wanted to walk up to this kid and be like, “OMG BFFL?!!”. Then, like, hug her and walk off with her. Maybe even share a library with her.

I mean, I can barely get any of my little cousins to finish one book. This girl’s got a TBRĀ list and she’s like, six or something.

My faith in humanity has now been restored.

I’m Engaged! Sort Of.

Three stone engagement ring - in yellow gold -...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Babysitting comes with a lot of risks, and one of them is having a little kid develop a crush on you and decide he wants to marry you.

I’m not kidding.

No, I’m serious.

You believe me yet?

I don’t know how things can get more awkward than a seven-year old boy blowing up your cell phone with voice mails and texts (seven-year olds know how to text?!), telling you how much he loves you. Not only that, but then proceeding to propose to you…in public. You know, like, with people watching.

That’s when I knew I had to have a talk with this little guy, and it here’s how it went:

Me: Squirt, put the Nintendo DS down. We need to have a talk.

Him: Okay. But can I finish my game first?

Me: No, we talk. Now.

Him: But I’m almost—

Me: WE TALK NOW, LORD HELP ME.

Him: Okay, okay, okay!

Me: Thank you. Now what is your deal? Why do you keep asking me to marry you? Where did this come from?

Him: ’cause I love you.

Me: Do you know what love is? I’m a dinosaur compared to you.

Him: But I like dinosaurs.

Me: That’s not the point.

Him: But I love you.

Me: And why is that?

Him: Because you play with me and give me cookies. So that’s why I love you.

Me: Don’t you think you should be into girls your own age?

Him: …

Me: …

Me: You will be mine.

Aaand, I’m screwed.

Anyone else ever been in this situation?